So...
I Guess I'll be blunt, when I was young my father was emotionally and physically abusive towards me and my younger sister.(luckily my youngest sister avoided any of the abuse being a baby)
It needs to be said he has apologised, he said he was sorry for and i quote "what he did.''
It took for me to be sectioned and have break down to realise that the psycho bullshit as he said was in fact real and was in fact his fault.
My relationship with him is strained and there's never really been any acknowledgement of what he did, he never said out loud that he beat me, that he belittled me and made me fear him to submit.
So last year my dad had a new baby girl, with his new girlfriend. I love his girlfriend and my new sister, but something that really pisses me off is this, WHY COULD YOU BE A GOOD FUCKING PARENT FOR HER AND NOT FOR FUCKING ME!
ITS FUCKING UNFAIR.
My dads girlfriend also seems to be a little bit in denial about how much of the abuse and they events of me and my sisters being taken into care was really his fault.
So if i wont get get his acknowledgement i will let the world know something i haven't shared in a long time.
Around mothers day when i was six, i left the house when i was supposed to be tidying my room.
It was mothering Sunday and my mum was still in bed. so i went outside to play.
i spent hours outside playing.
Until my dad came walking down the street and he was mad.
i remember thinking he was mad because of my untidy room and that id left and hadn't come back all day. i remember feeling sick and my heart racing. i remember being dragged home. with a sickening sense of dread because i knew what was coming.
I'm pushed into the house, and my mum and sister are ordered upstairs the sound of his voice threatens defiance and neither of them do.
My heart is racing my legs are leaden and I feel sick with dread. I feel glued to the spot as he takes of his belt, it feels like I'm not even in my body any longer. I'm ordered across his knees and he pulls down my underwear and strikes me over and over again, I'm crying and sobbing but he doesn't stop.
No one comes to help, my mum doesn't come running and snatch me into her arms to protect me,
when it stops my mum comes back down. she says nothing i am sent to my room with the threat that i will be sent away to the naughty girls school.
he says he did it because i stole my mums jewellery but funnily enough that's not what she say or i remember.
I couldn't sit for weeks, when people from the children's' group i was part of saw, they asked what happened and the police became involved. i had to live the shame of being medically examined and then picture taken of my split sore skin. Its still uncomfortable to sit even now sometime.
so that's what you did dad.
you were wrong no child ever deserves what you did and what makes it worse is you have the cheek to say you raised me.
YOU WERE NOT A GOOD PARENT.
what's worse is i see your emotionally abusive behaviour still to in the way you call you girl friend fat and lazy when in fact she is a good mother and is severely depressed.
You still try and belittle me but i see what you do now so it hurts less because I can defend myself against it.
Telling me my relationships wont last, making inappropriate sexual comments, calling me fat and saying i look like a boy.
well i cant say this to your face but i can tell the world what you did....
I Guess I'll be blunt, when I was young my father was emotionally and physically abusive towards me and my younger sister.(luckily my youngest sister avoided any of the abuse being a baby)
It needs to be said he has apologised, he said he was sorry for and i quote "what he did.''
It took for me to be sectioned and have break down to realise that the psycho bullshit as he said was in fact real and was in fact his fault.
My relationship with him is strained and there's never really been any acknowledgement of what he did, he never said out loud that he beat me, that he belittled me and made me fear him to submit.
So last year my dad had a new baby girl, with his new girlfriend. I love his girlfriend and my new sister, but something that really pisses me off is this, WHY COULD YOU BE A GOOD FUCKING PARENT FOR HER AND NOT FOR FUCKING ME!
ITS FUCKING UNFAIR.
My dads girlfriend also seems to be a little bit in denial about how much of the abuse and they events of me and my sisters being taken into care was really his fault.
So if i wont get get his acknowledgement i will let the world know something i haven't shared in a long time.
Around mothers day when i was six, i left the house when i was supposed to be tidying my room.
It was mothering Sunday and my mum was still in bed. so i went outside to play.
i spent hours outside playing.
Until my dad came walking down the street and he was mad.
i remember thinking he was mad because of my untidy room and that id left and hadn't come back all day. i remember feeling sick and my heart racing. i remember being dragged home. with a sickening sense of dread because i knew what was coming.
I'm pushed into the house, and my mum and sister are ordered upstairs the sound of his voice threatens defiance and neither of them do.
My heart is racing my legs are leaden and I feel sick with dread. I feel glued to the spot as he takes of his belt, it feels like I'm not even in my body any longer. I'm ordered across his knees and he pulls down my underwear and strikes me over and over again, I'm crying and sobbing but he doesn't stop.
No one comes to help, my mum doesn't come running and snatch me into her arms to protect me,
when it stops my mum comes back down. she says nothing i am sent to my room with the threat that i will be sent away to the naughty girls school.
he says he did it because i stole my mums jewellery but funnily enough that's not what she say or i remember.
I couldn't sit for weeks, when people from the children's' group i was part of saw, they asked what happened and the police became involved. i had to live the shame of being medically examined and then picture taken of my split sore skin. Its still uncomfortable to sit even now sometime.
so that's what you did dad.
you were wrong no child ever deserves what you did and what makes it worse is you have the cheek to say you raised me.
YOU WERE NOT A GOOD PARENT.
what's worse is i see your emotionally abusive behaviour still to in the way you call you girl friend fat and lazy when in fact she is a good mother and is severely depressed.
You still try and belittle me but i see what you do now so it hurts less because I can defend myself against it.
Telling me my relationships wont last, making inappropriate sexual comments, calling me fat and saying i look like a boy.
well i cant say this to your face but i can tell the world what you did....
